Trouble Making Ends Meet?

Here's a part-time gig that actually pays you for sleeping. I've got a lot of experience in this area, but it's apparently for women only.

Plagiarism Ahoy!

I was reading the sample anchor essays for the NY State English Regents in preparation for wading through millions of ESL student papers last week, and I noticed something odd. The papers are rated 0-6, with 6 being the best possible score, and one of the sentences in the body of the level 5 essay was word for word from the passage, and not attributed with quotations. True, the writer had omitted the first few words of the sentence, but wasn't that plagiarism? I gave my kids strict instructions to attribute all work.

Well, if the powers-that-be in Albany chose to give that paper a 5, if was clearly not much of an offense. In fact, it apparently held no meaning whatsoever for the pros that determined the grades. Was it only that sentence? Probably not, but why bother looking? If a little plagiarism was OK, who's to question the depths of wisdom of our overseers in Albany? In any case, this was good for ESL students, at least the ones who hadn't been terrorized by unreasonable teachers like me.

Another happy surprise, though not a new one, was that conventions like grammar, usage and spelling had very little value. This was a boon to ESL students who've been in the country fewer than six months.

Some people are telling me that kids who manage to pass this test will be exempt from ESL instruction. I haven't checked that out, but frankly, it's hard for me to accept that passing a test that condones plagiarism means you no longer need help in English. It's particularly egregious because the things the test ignores (like grammar, usage, and spelling) are precisely the things I'd help with. And while the test includes a listening passage, there's no measurement of speech, which to me seems a fundamental aspect of language acquisition.

Now I'd say if you're born here and can't pass this test, maybe you're not ready to graduate. On the other hand, it takes time to acquire the language, people like me can teach kids how to pass this test without sufficiently doing so, and this is one of the poorest assessments of ESL students I've ever seen, unless you count the city's LAB test, which kids knowing little or no English pass as a matter of course.

I'm kind of in the middle regarding this testing mania. If you tell me my kids can't graduate without passing a test, I'll help them pass. Still, it sort of behooves Albany to design a test that actually measures their abilities, rather than one that actively deprives them of instruction they sorely need, and will probably have to pay for after we let them out of high school with outrageously deficient language skills.

Blogroll Amnesty Day

I've been asked by Modest Jon Swift to highlight some blogs that aren't receiving sufficient attention. The idea, I suppose, is to place the spotlight on blogs that aren't on the ol' blogroll. Unfortunately, when I find a blog I like, I tend to immediately place it on the blogroll, so I'll just point you to a few new additions, as well as some you may have missed.

One of my very favorite bloggers is April May, relentlessly clever, who's gone from being a teacher to a freelance writer. If you haven't checked her out yet, now's as good a time as any.

A new voice, and I think a very good one, is Mr. A. from Accountable Talk. He's got a way of getting to the heart of the matter, often through humor, which there's all too little of.

Another blog I've just noticed and added is Confused NY Teacher. I fit that description once, and still do, depending when you happen to catch me.

I've just noticed The Cornerstone Blog, which has been around for only a few months, yet still managed to give NYC Educator an award. It's hard for me to argue with discriminating taste and discernment of that caliber.

David Bellel, photoshopper extraordinare, holds court over at Pseudo-intellectualism, and often cracks me up.

And check out Billionaires for Educational Reform if you want a firsthand look at the "reform" agenda.

I guarantee one and all to be more interesting than the fortunate turkey in the picture.

Cruisin' the Net

Wanna be a freelance writer on the net? April May reveals the secrets of her success.

Watch double pensioned UFT patronage employees sputter obscenities and hide like criminals when Norm Scott catches them eating wine and cheese instead of attending a rally they ostensibly supported.

A Forest Hills restaurant lets you eat and pay what you think the meal is worth.

DC Schools Chancellor and teacher-basher extraordinaire Michelle Rhee, having accomplished nothing whatsoever, declined her bonus so as to preclude public scrutiny. Still, Core Knowledge Blog has a question about her bonus plan:

Given the single-minded focus on student achievement associated with her tenure, and her oft-stated desire to tie teacher pay to test scores, why is Rhee’s bonus triggered by so many different factors other than academic achievement and improvement?

Death to the apostrophe decrees Birmingham City in England.

1943 thoughts on how to keep female employees happy.

Gotham Schools identifies a rare individual who speaks common sense to power.

What if Shakespeare were writing soliloquies on a Blackberry?

Have a Gneiss Day has a few interesting proposals on how Mayor Bloomberg can save money on the next UFT contract.

I'm not a libertarian, but nonetheless they've collected some very good quotes. I don't agree with all of them, but here's one I like:

That which we call sin in others is experiment for us. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Accountable Talk reflects on the happy talk ATRs get from the UFT, which created their predicament in the first place.

Don't forget to visit Super Obama World.

And Augustus "Gussie" Smith-Smythe holds court over at Billionaires for Educational Reform.

New Yorkers Say Thumbs Down...

...to Mayor Bloomberg's thwarting their will so he can be mayor-for-life (and they don't much care for his sweetheart deals with sports teams either).

Consistency Is the Hobgoblin of Little Minds

Nonetheless, it appears to be the primary argument Mayor Bloomberg's minions are advancing for extending mayoral control.

Klein plead with lawmakers to keep their opinion of him out of their thoughts on mayoral control. “Whatever you think about me personally,” he said, “you need the stability of that kind of leadership to transform education.”

So let's see if we can understand this. Schools Chancellor Joel Klein, who opposes tenure for teachers, feels no matter what kind of crappy job he's done, he ought to have the right to keep on doing it. Joel Klein, who opposes tenure but has achieved a permanent position by never, ever opposing Mayor Bloomberg, feels continuation of his manifest failures will "transform education."

Mr. Klein and Mr. Bloomberg, who've just built two sports stadiums all New Yorkers financed, but most will find difficult to afford, are now offering to "transform education" by firing 15,000 public school teachers. Note that no sports stadiums are being cut, and no luxury boxes are disappearing, because both the chancellor and the mayor put "Children First."

Mr. Klein says that class sizes will increase. How that is possible I have no idea, because NYC has the highest class sizes in the state, and Mr, Klein, despite having accepted hundreds of millions in CFE funds, has done absolutely nothing to reduce them. Also, the UFT contract caps classes at 34. Though she's surprised me before, I doubt even part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten would endorse raising class sizes.

In any case, if you want to keep putting "Children First" for oversized classes, overcrowded schools, the very worst facilities statewide, trailers, closets and bathrooms in lieu of classrooms, stagnant test scores where the Tweedies can't manipulate them, and all the other goodies this chancellor has brought NYC's schoolchildren, parents and teachers, line up for continuation of mayoral control.

And like the chancellor said, just because you think he's doing a terrible job, that's neither here nor there. The important thing is that you let him keep doing it for a long, long time.

Think You Can Be Prez?

It may not be all limos and gala luncheons. Obstacles abound, and failure stalks you with every missed step! Still, you may reach level completion we can believe in. Find out whether you've got what it takes over at Super Obama World.

Remember, we're all pulling for you (except Rush Limbaugh).

Miss Pazdit

I used to be free period 3 every day, and every day my supervisor would hunt me down and ask if I could cover Miss Pazdit's class until she showed up. At first it was five minutes, then ten, and it grew to twenty and then most of the period. It became tedious after a while. I was particularly irked because this was a beginning ESL class, one I'd actually asked to teach. Miss Pazdit had been assigned a paraprofessional, who complemented her teaching style perfectly by never showing up at all.

I asked if I could switch this class with my fourth period class. My supervisor declined, claiming that such a change would only make Miss Pazdit late for fourth period rather than third.

One day, I decided that since I was stuck there, I might as well teach the kids something. I pulled them all to the front of the room, rather than let them sit all over the place as they'd been doing, and started talking about the weather with them. We started discussing what it looked like outside, and how the weather was where they came from. 30 minutes into the period Ms. Pazdit arrived, to find her students completely focused and actually working. She was outraged. This was simply beyond the pale.

"Where is that paraprofessional!" she shouted.

Not to put to fine a point on it, at least in front of the kids, I said, "I think you're asking the wrong questions."

Miss Pazdit was very upset with me. She cornered me later and asked, "Do you have a problem with me or something?"

"Yes I do," I told her. "I cover your class for free almost every day because you can't even bother to show up." She gave me a dirty look and stormed away.

At the end of the year, she retired. She visits every now and then, and talks about how much she misses teaching. Personally, I don't believe her at all.

What a Maroon

What an ignoranamous.

Don't Miss This..

I have a much more attention-provoking title in mind, but I'll exercise a little discretion. You must get over to EdNotes Online and watch the sensational video that Norm Scott and David Bellel took. While real activists gave a rousing rally and spoke from the heart(s), Unity patronage employees slurped wine and gobbled cheese on Broadway. It's remarkable to contrast restrained politician Randi Weingarten, who's set us and labor back decades, with someone thoughtful, committed, and not on the payroll like Angel Rodriguez (among many others).

Unity is now rubber-stamping a motion to ban taping during their lovefests, as they're plainly embarrassed at the prospect of any more people seeing them for what they really are.

Through Dell and High Water

Computer problems can be maddening. They don't bother me in school, of course, since I haven't had computer access in 24 years and after all, it's only 2009. Why on earth would teachers or kids in Mr. Bloomberg's New York need computers?

But here at home, they're a necessity. My Dell desktop is out of commission, so my daughter and I are in perpetual deadly battle for possession of the Toshiba laptop. I used to have a Dell laptop, but the CD drive broke. I called, and they explained how to take it out, which I couldn't do. So I sent it to them, and a week later they sent it back, unrepaired, with a note saying they'd send be the part and I could fix it myself. I wrote to the Better Business Bureau saying they'd violated the warranty agreement and demanding a full refund, which I eventually got.

In a moment of madness, I purchased a printer from them, a fairly cool printer that works on our wireless network. It came with a $25 Staples gift card. Only it didn't. When I called, they told me it would take six weeks. But it never arrived. Two weeks ago, I spent an hour being transferred from one end of India to the other, and finally a woman promised I'd receive a coupon via email. Only I didn't, so I wrote the Better Business Bureau again.

Today a Dell rep called, I think from India.

"We can offer you a $25 Dell credit," he said.

"The deal was a $25 Staples credit," I reminded him.

"We can offer you a $25 Dell credit," he said.

"But I'm never buying anything from Dell again. Send me a check."

"We can offer you a $25 Dell credit," he said.

After much more of the same, I hung up on the guy. He really wanted to give me that credit. But what good is it, really, when all you can buy with it is more headaches? It's got all the appeal of a third term of Bloomberg and Klein.

An Ill Wind for "Reform"

According to Joanne Jacobs, those insidious Democrats are blocking merit pay, charter school construction, and other goodies that were expected from Education Secretary Arne Duncan.

Parting Is Such Sweet Sorrow

Farewell, Eduwonkette. You'll be sorely missed.

The Money Go Round

By now you've read part-time UFT President Randi Weingarten's letter about belt-tightening. Some days, though, you wonder just what the heck those Unity patronage employees do every day, when they aren't chasing cartoon characters around.

So go to the LM2 page, at the Department of Labor, type in 063-924, for the UFT, and you may learn some new things. The 2008 report indicates dues and agency fees of $119,808,331. Yet when you look at "representational activities," the figure drops to $19,289,822. I don't have my calculator handy, but that's well under 20% of dues going toward representing us.

Sure, Ms. Weingarten needs a chauffeur-driven SUV, and Leo Casey needs time to check whether or not he got a teacher award a few decades back, but what on earth are they spending that money on? Well, Ms. Weingarten and her minions had to check out Green Dot schools, of course, so they could bring their "no-tenure, no-seniority rights" style of administration to the Big Apple, and I can't imagine her chauffeur driving all the way to the left coast.

The Green Dot operation involved a firm called Strook, Strook and Lavan. They represented our interests in no-tenure, no seniority to the tune of $658,468. It's eye-opening to learn just how much Unity patronage employees will spend to encourage such things.

And there is entertainment. I mean, you need a break after sitting around the UFT office all day. So there's $54,100 to Regal Cinemedia. Clearview Cinemas is a bargain at a mere $12,045. And you get a powerful hunger sitting around that office, so you need to spend $7,523 at the 86th Street Meat Market. No 4 dollar school lunches for you.

You need to be in good shape to work for Unity. That's why you spent $41,750 at the Brooklyn Baseball Company. And, of course, you need to see how the pros do it. That's why you spent $24,215 at New York Mets group sales. And don't forget the Yankees either--it's the last year at the old stadium, so you spent a mere $9,054 on the Bronx Bombers. After all, it's harder to park over there. But you managed to spend $83,682 on the Central Parking System.

You don't want your patronage employees to be bored with that building, so you spent $11,997 meeting at the Marriott. Then you spent another $269,058 meeting there again, I suppose. Not to slight the NY Hilton and Towers, you spend another $619,849 over there. The Sheraton is a relative bargain at $286,148.

You get powerfully tired, what with all those meetings. So you spent $93,484 at the Coffee Distributing Corps.

As for me, I hope against hope that the UFT aristocracy drinks enough coffee to wake up and start looking out for us again. If you're feeling ambitious, check out the report yourself and let the world know what else Ms. Weingarten and her merry band are up to.

Thanks to Juanchito

Shin Yen Kwai Luh

Happy lunar new year!

Kids Say the Darndest Things

Sometimes you aim and miss. The administration ought to be plenty satisfied with my morning lit class, because almost all of them are passing. They read the books, they pass the tests, and I must be doing a fantastic job what with over 90% of them getting credit, and not just for "seat time."

But I'm not reaching them the way I want to.

"Did you like this book?" I asked the other day, in a thoughtless moment of honesty.

"No one likes books," ventured one kid, unmindful of the conversation that would ensue.

"People love books," I said. "Why do you think every town has a library? Why are those gigantic Barnes and Noble stores in the malls?"

"Only old people like books," said a young woman, with imprudent candor.

I don't remember how I responded to that, as designated representative for old people everywhere. I'm certain, though, it was not altogether favorable, because she said, "That's because you never had anything to do back then. We have computers and video games. We have Guitar Hero."

I really hate it when kids figure out how to push my buttons, especially when they do it completely by accident.

"You mean the game where you play fake music on fake guitars?" I asked.

This caused an avalanche of protest from my young charges. But my daughter has that game, kicked my butt in it, and I determined it would be much easier to play that music on a real guitar. In fact, I offered to give her one but she was having none of it. What's cool about a real guitar that you have to tune and practice when you can be up and running on the Wii in five minutes with your plastic Les Paul?

Another kid got up and made a boast even worse.

"No one in my country ever reads," he declared with pride.

I won't tell you where he came from, because it really doesn't matter. The only good I can glean from this is that it's not entirely our fault--he clearly had this attitude before we Americanized him.

The girl in the front, the one who dutifully does every assignment, nodded at the good points her classmates were making. She read the first book I issued, but gave it a bad review.

"It doesn't have enough SAT words in it," she complained.

I've got another few months to fool them into thinking reading is worthwhile. It's getting tougher to compete with the new toys, though, which seem to get better each year.

Dear World

Dear World:

We, the United States of America, your top quality supplier of ideals of democracy, would like to apologize for our 2001-2008 interruption in service. The technical fault that led to this eight-year service outage has been located, and the software responsible was replaced November 4, 2008.

Early tests of the newly installed program indicate that we are now operating correctly, and we expect it to be fully functional on January 20, 2009. We apologize for any inconvenience caused by the outage. We look forward to resuming full service and hope to improve service in years to come. We thank you for your patience and understanding.

Sincerely,

THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA.

Stolen from Miss Cellania

Zero Tolerance

Fail to return a library book? Go to jail, go directly to jail, do not pass go, do not collect $200.

Don't Forget to Check Your Child's Homework

(Here's the reply a teacher received the day after making note of the drawing at left)

Dear Mrs. Jones,

I wish to clarify that I am not now, nor have I ever been, an exotic dancer.

I work at Home Depot and I told my daughter how hectic it was last week before the blizzard hit. I told her we sold out every single shovel we had, and then I found one more in the back room, and that several people were fighting over who would get it. Her picture doesn't show me dancing around a pole. It's supposed to depict me selling the last snow shovel we had at Home Depot.

From now on I will remember to check her homework more thoroughly before she turns it in.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Smith

Thanks to Schoolgal

Change We Need Now

President Barack Obama has expressed his support for the Employee Free Choice Act, or card check. It's one of the most important reasons he got my vote.

The same folks who push things like "right to work," which turns out more like the right to hobble unions and fire whomever they wish whenever they want, are now claiming they want to preserve the right of workers to a secret ballot. These are the same people who protect us all against raises in the minimum wage (Try living on that). They're standing up against union thugs (like me) who'd urge you to sign that card.

After all, I'm a pretty tough guy. Sure, you may be bigger than I am, and sure, I can't fire you. Sure, I can't refuse you that raise, and I can't write up your job performance. I can't refuse to write you a job recommendation, and actually I can't do anything whatsoever in terms of your job.

Now that I think of it, it's your employer who can do all those things. So perhaps it's not such a great idea for me to skulk around and try to organize that prized secret ballot, because my employer has a multitude of ways to prevent it. In fact, that's why union supporters (like me) want to pass card check.

If Obama passes this one right for working people, a right opposed by Maverick Johny, that in itself will have made all our votes for him worthwhile. Unfortunately, he appears to be waffling.

The president-elect also gave his support for legislation that would make it easier for workers to unionize, but he said there may be other ways to achieve the same goal without angering businesses. And while many Democrats on Capitol Hill are eager to see a quick vote on that bill, he indicated no desire to rush into the contentious issue.

Let's hope he gets with the program, even if it inconveniences Wal-Mart, or the hedge fund guys who helped run the economy into the ground, and now want to extend their expertise to public schools.. As the NY Times pointed out:

The argument against unions — that they unduly burden employers with unreasonable demands — is one that corporate America makes in good times and bad, so the recession by itself is not an excuse to avoid pushing the bill next year. The real issue is whether enhanced unionizing would worsen the recession, and there is no evidence that it would.

There is a strong argument that the slack labor market of a recession actually makes unions all the more important. Without a united front, workers will have even less bargaining power in the recession than they had during the growth years of this decade, when they largely failed to get raises even as productivity and profits soared. If pay continues to lag, it will only prolong the downturn by inhibiting spending.

When does unionization benefit working people? Always.

I'm not shy in criticizing my union leadership. However, I've no doubt whatsoever that NYC public school teachers would be worse off without a union. If" you look at the state of teachers in "right to work" states, you see there's little to envy. A lot of people know who I am. Would I even be able to write this if I weren't in a union? A friend of mine actually lost his job when his bosses discovered his anonymous blog. Millard Fillmore's Bathtub asks "Should Teachers Blog?" and elicits a telling response from Kate:

Unfortunately, none of that matters in a ‘right to work state’ like Florida and Georgia, where teachers can be fired pretty much without reason. Georgia even has a clause that states that teachers must meet other criteria or expectations placed by the administration of their schools.

Blogging is a dangerous activity.

Would you want to be in that position? Me neither. More importantly, I don't want my students or my child to be in that position. The question is this: Do you want to fact your employers alone, or would you like your colleagues, perhaps even tens of thousands of them, to face them with you?

If you're smart enough to teach my kid, there's only one right answer.