It's Apathy Day!

To celebrate her grand victory, UFT President Randi Weingarten has decreed that tomorrow, April 1st, will hereafter be known as "Apathy Day." Ms. Weingarten is particularly grateful to the overwhelming majority of teachers for not voting.

A grand celebration has not been arranged at UFT headquarters tomorrow, and many famous celebrities will not be appearing. The legendary rock and roll band, The Rolling Stones, will not be there. The original cast from Annie will not be singing the inspiring ballad "Tomorrow." And the Beatles will not be performing "Yesterday" either.

Ms. Weingarten wants to personally assure duespayers that hall patrol will not be repealed, seniority transfers will not reappear, the ATR corps will not be discontinued, the punishment days in August will not be cancelled, mayoral control will not sunset, and Mayor Bloomberg will not give up in his plan to make it even less attractive for principals to hire experienced teachers.

We'd break out the champagne, but the patronage mill drank it all at borough headquarters yesterday. Let's celebrate what made Ms. Weingarten's victory possible.

Let's make tomorrow the best Apathy Day ever!

Congratulations, Ms. Weingarten

If emails I'm receiving this morning are correct, Unity, as expected, won the election, and though ICE-TJC outpolled fake opposition party New Action, Unity's cross-endorsement has given it the high school seats, the only ones, frankly, that were ever in play. Preliminary figures in high schools:

Unity 2183
ICE-TJC 1524
New Action 521

This means Ms. Weingarten will no longer have any opposition whatsoever on the executive board, having rid herself of the only six people who opposed letting PERB design the 05 contract. It also suggests the overwhelming majority of high school teachers, like all teachers, didn't even bother to vote.

That may have something to do with the AAA snafu, but not that much, so shame on us all.

It also suggests, however, we are well within striking distance. And as for the other branches, a well-informed electorate is no friend of the Unity machine. Preliminary figures indicate Ms. Weingarten may have received only 12,000 votes total from working teachers (of 70,000), including 1500 from New Action, many of whom were undoubtedly unaware they were voting for Ms. Weingarten.

Meanwhile, New Action's leaders can claim victory, quash the voice of the real opposition in the Executive Board (which is precisely why Ms. Weingarten keeps them around), keep their patronage jobs and pretend they aren't beholden to the Unity Caucus. They can make believe they were elected rather than rubber-stamped by the Unity patronage mill. They can pretend they want change.

They can pretend not to have supported the 05 contract, even though its leaders were part of the committee that unanimously endorsed it, and even though they played no part whatsoever in the very lively discussions all over the net.

Whatever they say, Unity-New Action has brought us:

1. permanent hall patrol
2. punishment days in August
3. the end of guaranteed placement
4. the end of the UFT transfer plan
   
5. 90 day suspensions based on unsubstantiated allegations
6. mayoral control
7. the end of high school teachers selecting their own VP
8. a phony, diversionary "opposition" party dedicated to fooling rank-and-file
9. over 30 years of no progress whatsoever in reducing the class size of 34
   

And I know, I've said this before and I'll say it again, but they did this (and more) for less than cost of living. I was there when we took two years of zero-percent, two years in a row, for the end of hall patrol. It was bad business, and lazy negotiation from a tired, entrenched, cynical and outdated leadership.

These figures are very rough, and very tentative. But if ICE-TJC turns out to have gotten only one vote, it was mine.

We will continue to tell the truth about the rampant corruption that swirls around the spineless, disingenuous and self-serving UFT leadership. We will explore new ways to get our message out, and we will be in the faces of those who've repeatedly sold us out every step of the way.

We have time on our side, and we have the truth on our side. Apathy, Unity's best friend, is not ours. We must reach out to the overwhelming majority of rank and file who did not find it worth their while to vote.

And we will do precisely that, beginning now.

Thanks to Norm

If All Government Leaders Were Women

"There would be no more war. Women don't like war."

"What if you were attacked?"

"We wouldn't be. Women don't do that. We're smarter than that."

"But lots of women have been heads of state, and there's always been conflict."

"That's because men controlled the other countries. Men are always running around doing all kinds of stupid things."

"Okay, fine. Men are crazy and just make problems. We can't do anything right. But if that's true, why do so many women like men? I mean, if women didn't like men, we wouldn't be here. Why do women go on dates with men, and get dressed up, and marry them, even?"

"We just want to help you."

The Carnival of Education....

..is up and running at Ed Wonk's place.

Casting the First Stone

UFT President Randi Weingarten, I'm told, is upset because in the middle of a contentious election season, the opposition did not abandon its campaign in order to jump on her class-size bandwagon. That's an odd accusation to make, as the opposition absolutely supports lower class sizes, and has demanded for years they be part of contract negotiations. Of course, they were voted down on a regular basis by the lockstep Unity patronage machine (which no doubt feels it ran a positive campaign).

The very first post on this blog was about class size.

And let's be very clear--our classes run up to 34 (often surpassing that), and Ms. Weingarten's machine has failed to do anything whatsoever about it for almost 40 years. Based on that record, I'd be loathe to criticize anyone. It's clear, having bought off her original opposition with patronage jobs, it would be quite convenient for Ms. Weingarten if her only genuine opposition pranced about singing her praises.

Politics aside, Ms. Weingarten's got many reasons to focus on class size, and a good many of them concern getting rank-and-file to stop thinking about the unconscionable givebacks of the 05 contract. Unity thinks if they ignore them long enough, people will simply forget where they came from (and they may be right, for all I know).

Yesterday, as I was walking the permanent hall patrol Ms. Weingarten negotiated for me, I had time to consider that contract. I was certainly thinking about it on the punishment days in August she'd thoughtfully negotiated for me. And I'm sure many of my colleagues think about it during their 37.5 minute classes, which Unity claims are not actually classes.

If Joel Klein's plan to have funding follow students becomes a reality, senior teachers will be pariahs, albatrosses around the necks of principals who need to fund their schools. Is there anyone who doesn't believe that Klein envisioned precisely this when he got Ms. Weingarten to agree to the worst contract in our history?

Joel Klein is by no means my favorite person. Still, he certainly knows what he's doing. Ms. Weingarten made the first step toward enabling Mr. Klein's vision it by supporting mayoral control. Another huge mistake was going to PERB and accepting the odious 05 contract, the implications of which seem to have utterly escaped her (and still do, for all I know). Perhaps Ms. Weingarten sees Mr. Klein's new funding proposals as mere coincidence, and not a direct result of her collaboration.

Regardless, as Ms. Weingarten eyes the AFT presidency, the dual AFT-UFT presidencies (following in the footsteps of both her Unity predecessors) or a position in Hillary's white house, she leaves the rest of us--students, parents, and teachers, to pay for her utter lack of foresight.

Mr. Allworthy and the Birds

Mr. Allworthy was a fine principal. He had attended the Leadership Academy, and studied at the feet of Jack Welch. His appearance was immaculate. Every day his suit was perfectly pressed and his tie perfectly knotted. He could walk into any teacher's classroom and find fault with everything and anything that was happening. He had a framed commendation from Chancellor Klein on his wall and took great pains to wear his hair precisely as the chancellor did.

But one day, the president of the PTA presented him with a gift. It was a pair of parrots in a cage, to represent the relationship between school and parents, or so she said. He thanked her, and gratefully accepted the gift.

The next day, when a very important visitor from Tweed dropped by, one of the parrots said, "We're hookers. How about a good time, sailor?"

"First one's a freebie," chirped in the other one.

"What is the meaning of this?" asked the bigwig from Tweed, very much perturbed by the spectacle in Mr. Allworthy's office. "What if Chancellor Klein were to hear this?" Naturally, Mr. Allworthy was horrified by the very thought of this.

Mr. Allworthy wondered what to do. He couldn't return the parrots, since he had express instructions to behave as though he valued the feelings and opinions of parents. The wisest person in the school, of course, was Mr. Solomon, the assistant principal, and an ordained raabi to boot. Mr. Allworthy went to seek his advice.

"It's your lucky day, Mr. Allworthy," said Mr. Solomon, clapping his hands together with delight. "It just happens that I too have a pair of parrots. But my parrots are much better behaved. They spend all of their time reading the bible and praying. They know all the prayers, and are fluent in Hebrew. Why don't you bring your parrots by after school and have them spend some time with my birds? I'm sure they'll be a wholesome influence."

After school, Mr. Allworthy, with much trepidation, took the birds to Mr. Solomon's home. He was surprised to see Mr. Solomon's birds wearing yarmulkes and prayer shawls, and earnestly chanting prayers. But as soon as he put down his birdcage, his first parrot said, "We're hookers. How about a good time, sailor?"

"First one's a freebie," said the other.

One of Mr. Solomon's parrots looked up and opened his eyes very wide. Then he turned to his companion and said, "Shlomo, you can stop now. Our prayers have been answered."

Thanks to Schoolgal

Good Books

Well, you can't do your research assignment on Henry Miller anymore at Terrel High School in Texas. They've determined Mr. Miller's books are unsuitable for high school kids to report on. I read one of his novels a long time ago, and if I recall correctly, it was largely about Mr. Miller's sex life. Should high school kids be reading about sex? I don't know, but they'll be thinking about it regardless. Sometimes I think it's good if they read anything whatsoever.

A student who does service in our office regularly comes in with novels entitled Bitch, or Blood on the Sidewalk, and various others of this ilk. She says her aunt has a collection, and she seems to finish several a week. The list must be endless. Is it doing her any good? Who knows? But at least she's reading. I have to admit I like that.

Call me old-fashioned, but when I'm looking for sex and depravity, I really enjoy Charles Bukowski. I just reread his first novel, Post Office, and it's incredible. It's remarkable to think there are, or ever were, people like Bukowski. But I watched a documentary about him recently, and I'm convinced Bukowski was really Bukowski. If you've ever wondered why people "go postal," you have to read this book.

Would I want my high-school kid to read this book? Now that's a very good question, and I'm afraid I won't be able to give an accurate answer for a few years. Right now my kid is more interested (much to my relief) in The Chronicles of Narnia.

Explicit sex and extreme violence grace the pages of many books approved by New York City. Is that a bad idea? Is it a good idea? Will it get kids who wouldn't read otherwise interested?

What do you think?

Who's in Charge Here?

A few months back, I wrote about the blue ribbon panel, which determined private companies should run schools, and that teacher pensions should be eliminated.

Yesterday, UFT President Randi Weingarten was on another panel discussing those recommendations. Ms. Weingarten objected when Mr. Klein proposed sacrificing pension for salary.

However, Ms. Weingarten's caucus once boldly trumpeted the end of lunch duty and hall patrol. It once felt teachers were innocent until proven guilty, and shouldn't be subject to 90-day unpaid suspensions based on unsubstantiated allegations. It once felt teachers in schools closed by the city were entitled to placement rather than purgatory. It once felt inaccurate letters in the file and observations should be challenged before teachers were actually facing dismissal. It once felt five classes a day were enough.

Given Ms. Weingarten's demonstrated willingness to give up anything and everything for less than cost of living (as long as nothing upsets her patronage mill), it's difficult to give her objections much credence.

Ms. Weingarten, full of upward aspirations, appears determined to show the world she's no old-time socialist union boss who just runs around seeking improvements in the workplace.

Guilty Till Proven Innocent

Updating a story that ran yesterday, the Daily News now says the 58-year-old custodian accused of molesting an 8-year-old child was falsely accused. Apparently the child was an abuse victim and had accused others as well.

This brings to mind the current United Federation of Teachers contract that allows for teachers to be suspended for 90 days without pay based on just the type of unsubstantiated allegations that landed this unfortunate working man in Rikers. Thus far, I've heard of two teachers falsely charged under this clause and no case in which the charges were sustained.

Fortunately, neither UFT President Randi Weingarten nor much of her army of patronage employees will never have to worry about such things. Their jobs do not require them to spend much time interacting with schoolchildren, so such accusations are unlikely to affect them as they sit doing whatever it is they do there at 52 Broadway. That's why they have no problem adding such odious clauses to the contract.

Thanks to reality based educator who blogs about this right here.

The Talent Show

Look, there's a girl wearing a shaved-head wig, pretending to be Britney Spears. And there's a kid with a guitar, singing a convoluted and sensitive song no one wants to hear. And there's a young woman singing the theme song to Titanic, and what a shame she can't hit those high notes.

In Wilton, Connecticut, a group of kids wrote a serious play about the Iraq war, and the principal has pulled the plug, saying it's too controversial.

Bonnie Dickinson, who has been teaching theater at the school for 13 years, said, “If I had just done ‘Grease,’ this would not be happening.”

That's certainly true. Doubtless the kids involved in the production have learned that and more.

Mr. Bloomberg Has Some Splainin' to Do...

Well, there are liars, damned liars, and then there's the blue ribbon panel with Rod Paige, Joel Klein, and Mayor Mike. While he hasn't gone all out and fabricated a miracle, as Mr. Paige did, Mayor Mike's figures are highly suspect.

A few months back he was failing to count dropouts among those who failed to finish high school, resulting in a discrepancy between city and state figures. However, he appears to have negotiated a more favorable interpretation, so that accountability can continue to apply only to teachers.

But despite that, there's yet more bad news for Mayor Mike, presented by the formidable Diane Ravitch, who's cast a highly critical lens on Tweed's much-ballyhooed claims about test scores:

...the first state test results that reflect the mayor's reforms were reported in 2004. Since the mayoral reforms began, there have been three state tests from 2004 to 2006. So what has happened to scores since the mayor's package of reforms was installed? Instead of a 12 percentage point gain in fourth grade English arts, the gain was 6.4 percentage points (from 52.5% meeting state standards to 58.9%). Instead of a 32 percentage point gain in fourth grade mathematics, there has been a gain of 4.2 percentage points (from 66.7% to 70.9%). Instead of an 18 point percentage gain in eighth grade mathematics, there has been a gain of 4.5 percentage points (from 34.4% to 38.9%). Only in eighth grade English was there an appreciable gain, from 32.6% to 36.6%, but the score is only 1 percentage point higher than it was in 1999.

And that's not all:

None of the gains, by the way, match the test score gains in the city schools that occurred the year before mayoral control began...

I wonder what would happen if the tabloids ever printed the truth about Mr. Bloomberg's educational revolution. I suggest we all sit while we wait to find out.

To Push or Not to Push

It's parent-teacher conference time here in the Big Apple. Invariably, all the parents of our students with averages of 95 and above show up (often as not to inquire why they haven't earned 96 and above). I tell them their kids are great, and often ask what their secret is.

I'm confident that if I could identify and bottle this secret, I'd become so fabulously wealthy I could quit teaching altogether. I could then spend my time cultivating the odious vices I've always aspired to.

So what's their secret?

One parent rolls his eyes upward and points toward heaven, refusing to take personal credit for his daughter. But a succession of others tell me, "You have to push them. That's the secret." Some, when presented with minor flaws in their kids, who have received 90 or above, negotiate with me. "You push them to do this, and I'll push them to do that." I agree, and make mental notes of who I have to push to do what.

Others, however, see things differently. "I want to push him, but if I push him too far, he'll fall down." I'm always cognizant of a young Korean woman who attended one of my college classes. She told me her parents had pushed her to practice piano 2 hours a day for ten years. She could play very well, she said, but the thing she loved most about being in the United States was that she didn't have to play at all.

It wasn't until she came here that it dawned on her she absolutely hated playing the piano.

Don't Miss the Carnival

It's over at The Education Wonks this week.

Arm of Coats

It's morning, and the trailer is cold, cold, cold. Fortunately, we have a thermostat. I get there early to turn it on, but no one appreciates my efforts.

Bob, sitting in his $400 North Face jacket, supplemented by a heavy sweatshirt, complains it's too hot. His neighbor, Maria, wearing an arctic parka, a heavy wool sweater, and a long scarf (she's removed her floppy-eared woolen hat in deference to school rules), concurs. "Ay, meester, turn the heat down."

They're shocked when I tell them to take their jackets off, and they sit there as though I'd just instructed them to eat ten pounds of dirt. I don't have my coat on, and it's still a little cold in there. I stand my ground and damn the consequences.

On principle, they refuse to take off their jackets, and appear sullen and disappointed for much of the period, particularly mid-class, when it starts to get really warm. Perhaps there's no point in having a $400 coat if people don't see you wearing it every waking moment of your life.

With changing weather on the horizon, though, they may soon have little choice.

Modern Times

We're doing a dialogue and I'm trying to cast a male part.

Jenny begins waving her hand frantically, saying "Me, me, I'll do it!"

"But this is a man's part, Jenny. You're not qualified."

"Oh, mister," she says, "Things aren't like that anymore."

Mr. Klein Ponders Life's Mysteries

Mr Klein welcomes contributions. That's why he finally allowed some angry parents to speak the other night. You can be sure that he will pretend to listen to each and every one of them before ignoring them utterly, as always.

After all, he's now paying one of them $150,000 a year. It appears, though, that increasing numbers of parents are finally unwilling to sit down and shut up, as they've been doing for thirty years. Mr. Klein will find this highly inconvenient.

Where's the love? Where's the gratitude? After all, didn't Mr. Klein have all seven of his investigators check out the 3,547 complaints about bus service?

Ms. Weingarten Supports You

Well, another day, another Daily News editorial trashing the teachers' union. They seem to feel the only voices this mayor should obey are the ones in his head. Those are the same voices, of course, that told him to send 6-year-old children out with metrocards, and the same ones that told him the dead of winter was the optimal moment to cancel bus service.

They're the same voices that told him to refuse to contribute dime one to CFE, resulting in a two-thirds reduction in funds headed to NYC's 1.1 million children. As usual, blame is laid at the feet of UFT President Randi Weingarten:

She has two issues. First, that Bloomberg would deny tenure to probationary teachers who fail to raise achievement by measurable standards.

Actually, it's the city that's failed to enforce existing tenure rules for over 30 years, trying to artificially pump up supply while continuing to pay the lowest salaries in the area. I don't think bad teachers should get tenure. In fact, I don't think they should be hired in the first place.

However, the city is absolutely free to deny tenure to probationary teachers, just as it has always been. It's plainly the city's failure, not Ms. Weingarten's, that it failed to exercise its options. If the city truly wanted good teachers, it would have insisted on hiring and retaining them long ago. Actually, years of intergalactic searches, lowered standards and 800 numbers strongly suggest the city is concerned only with getting teachers at bargain-basement prices, and cares not one whit who teaches its children.

Second, that his budget proposal would crimp the ability of senior teachers to congregate in schools with the easiest workloads.

This is not at all the case. In 2005, Ms. Weingarten gave up the UFT transfer plan, which allowed teachers to select schools in which they wished to transfer. She also gave up the right of excessed teachers to guaranteed reassignment in order of seniority. And furthermore, she did all this for a compensation increase that failed to meet cost of living.

It's true that if Mr. Bloomberg gets his druthers, it will be even more unattractive for principals to hire senior teachers. Of course, they're no longer under any obligation to hire them now, so the point is moot.

Senior teachers are, as always, less pliable, and less willing to put up with abuse. Principals now have the absolute right to deny them placement. Senior teachers will soon, perhaps, cost these principals double the salary of new teachers, making them even less attractive.

Once again, the city can focus on cheaper teachers, and if it can turn them over quickly enough (it now loses about half in five years), it won't have to bother with those nasty pensions. Ms. Weingarten, by granting principals absolute veto over who gets hired, and not even demanding cost of living in return, has been an absolute boon to those who support this mayor.

The Daily News should stand up and applaud her. If the editorial staff has the courage of its convictions, it ought to be down on bended knees begging to touch the hem of her garment. Without Ms. Weingarten's cooperation, there would be no mayoral control, and none of their professed desires would be remotely within reach.

The Idiots of March

New York City, in its infinite wisdom, required me to take a course in special education in order to keep my job. It might have been nice if they'd made me do so before it compelled me to actually teach special education, but that would be asking too much, I suppose.

Professor Hindenburg was highly, deeply, profoundly knowledgeable on the topic of his daughter's computer, and became sorely upset at discovering various class members had failed to purchase the same model. There was simply no comparison, he had read all the consumer magazines, and we should all have known better.

We sat in a circle and tried to visualize the best possible education for our students. We closed our eyes for five minutes. I fell asleep. After this, we were encouraged to share our meditations. The student next to me elbowed me awake. We were then asked what we expected from this course. I told Professor Hindenburg, "I want to do the bare minimum amount of work possible and earn a D." That was, indeed, my goal. This course didn't apply to any degree, and six months of teaching special education had conclusively persuaded me that I had no talent for it whatsoever.

In order to achieve my goal, I turned in handwritten, unedited, unresearched, poorly thought out projects. I didn't bother to write them on my computer (Professor Hindenburg had expressed sharp disapproval of it anyway).

At the final class meeting, we all had private sessions with the professor. He showed me my grade--A minus. As it did not meet my goal, I protested. Professor Hindenburg explained that we all expressed ourselves in different ways. Those who did excellent work got As. Those who produced third-rate nonsense, as I had, only got A minus. He had standards.

While I remained disappointed at not achieving my target grade, I was very pleased I hadn't knocked myself out for the A. And come to think of it, the title isn't precisely accurate, as this all happened in May or June.

Marian Swerdlow for High School Executive Board

"There have to be people there who will speak truth to power, and who are not beholden to Weingarten and her patronage machine."

My Faith Is Tested

Sandra is personable and charming. She had a cutting problem in September, but she seemed to work it out, and managed to excel in my class by semester's end. I thought we'd solved this problem.

But this semester she's been missing classes with increasing frequency, and recently disappeared for almost two full weeks. The one time we called her house, there was no answer. When she returned, she told me that her aunt's employee had gone back to her country, and that she'd had to fill in for her at the shop. I decided her aunt belonged in jail. So I went to the guidance counselor, who happens to speak Sandra's language (too bad for her).

It turns out Sandra just made the whole thing up. Maybe she figures since she got away with it in September, she can do it again in March. I have to grudgingly respect that she managed to snooker me, however briefly. But with 22 years experience, I'm still amazed she blamed her family with no regard for potential consequences. My grudging respect will not translate into a grade above 40, and her final average will include all the work she missed those 13 days.

I understand a lot of kids think the first marking period doesn't count. They're wrong, of course. But I really hate when they disappoint me like this.